GONZO CLOSE TO RETIREMENT FROM FALCONS

Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez is nearly certain he will be retiring from the NFL sometime after the 2012 season.  At least he said that he is 95% sure that the upcoming season will be his last, but also said that he wasn't ruling out playing in 2013 either.  He didn't come right out and say it, but rest assured that he is eyeing up his future days as an Atlanta Armchair Quarterback.

"I've had a great run," he said. "I don't want to be one of those players toward the end of their careers — and nothing against guys that have done it like that in the past — but I want to make sure that I'm at the top of my game when I do go out."

Some of those players in the past have made their early retirement proclamations after a long season, typically players don't announce retirement plans a couple of days into training camp.  That said, maybe Gonzo is sincerely planning on making this his farewell tour.

"Sometimes you have to call it quits, and I'm just one of those type of guys that I can't handle being average at this sport because I've been at the top for a while," Gonzalez said. "I hope that's not coming off as cocky, but it's just the way I operate. I don't want to come out there and be somewhat of a role player."

After dropping that surprise announcement, Gonzalez insisted that he didn't want to publicly discuss retirement again until the end of the season.

"I don't want to be a distraction to myself, first and foremost," he said. "I don't want to play games in my head. I'm sticking to it, and we'll know at the end of the season. We have a long time before that day even comes."

If and when he retires, Gonzalez will  undoubtedly be a first ballet Hall Of Famer.  Of the eight modern-era tight ends that have already been inducted, only one played longer than Gonzalez, and that was Jackie Smith of the Dallas Cowboys.  Smith played until he was 38 and like Gonzalez, stayed around in the hopes of winning a championship.  

To the delight of Steelers fans, Smith dropped a touchdown pass from Roger Staubach in the end zone as the Cowboys loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers by four points in Super Bowl XIII.

The Atlanta Falcons are not likely to get to the Super Bowl and probably won't get a sniff of the playoffs either.  That said, we probably won't be treated to any infamous high-profile missteps or drops in the post season from this soon-to-be-legendary player. 

ATLANTA ARMCHAIR QUARTERBACK
Available Here!

CLEVELAND BROWNS CLOSE TO BEING SOLD

In an article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Mary Kay Cabot reported that Cleveland Browns are close to being sold to Tennessee businessman Jimmy Haslam, a minority owner of the Steelers.  Lucky for Cleveland Armchair Quarterbacks, there appears to have been an unconditional guarantee that the team would not be moved out of Cleveland that had to be met before negotiations could even be initiated.


Browns President (and losing coach in Super Bowl XL) Mike Holmgren confirmed that owner Randy Lerner "will give up controlling interest in the team."    


Cleveland Armchair Quarterbacks the world over, are being encouraged to buy Armchair Quarterback products as a sign of solidarity during these uncertain times for the franchise.

CLEVELAND ARMCHAIR QUARTERBACK
 Merchandise Available Here!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRAFT DRUNK

Millions of Fantasy Football 'players' across the nation are gearing up as the hectic NFL offseason, one chock full of lawyers, litigation and Goodell capturing numerous headlines, is coming to a close.

This is a striking contrast to 2011 where 'lockout' was the operative word. Lucky for us there has been plenty of talk about Manning, Tebow, RG III and most recently, some asinine (or drunken?) statements from Michael Dick about a 'dynasty' in Philth-a-delphia.  I'm sure there will be more on that in the coming days.  To be fair, this has been a summer with plenty of talk about replacement refs and rules changes too.

Speaking of rules, from a very grounded Joe-Six Pack perspective, in the Fantasy Football world, there is one golden rule that hasn't, and most assuredly won't ever change; friends don't let friends DRAFT drunk. Please remember it. That is, unless you're like me and heavily rely on this strategy for a successful draft night, or use it to explain the inexplicable on your league's draft night.


 FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRAFT DRUNK

ROLLING STONES GOING ON TOUR - AGAIN?

Get this on great products!

Reuters recently reported that the Rolling Stones will be marking the band's 50th anniversary by way of an "...exhibition photos and an accompanying book".  The 352 page book will be hitting stores today (12 July 2012), and selling for around $50.00.  More importantly,  according to the article (which appears in it's entirety here) there are also rumors of a tour.  Some excerpts from the article:  

• Guitarist Richards said this week that the Stones have met up for "a couple of rehearsals", fanning the fire of rumors that a new world tour may be in the works.  "We're playing around with the idea and had a couple of rehearsals - we've got together and it feels so good."

• The exhibition photos and an accompanying book track the rise of a group of fresh-faced British boys who played their first gig at Oxford Street's Marquee Club in 1962, became the scourge of the establishment in the 1960s, the titans of 70s music and finally the elder statesmen of rock n' roll in the 21st century.

• "There was no sort of master plan," Richards says on the band's official website rollingstones.com. "We were flying by the seat of our pants. That is what amazes me, that the whole thing was improvised."

Hard to believe the Stones are marking fifty years.  Some argue that Ian Dury was the person who coined the phrase, "Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll", but no other band epitomized the phrase or lived the lifestyle like the Rolling Stones.

PISSED ABOUT PISTORIUS IN THE OLYMPICS

Call me a grouch, but I'm a little pissed that the Olympic committee and national track federation granted their approval to double-amputee Oscar Pistorius to compete in both the individual 400 meter and the 4x400 merter relay at the London Olympics.  What the hell?  We're not talking about the "Special" Olympics or some other patronizing event or spectacle, but the $@#% Summer Olympics!

According to the Associated Press, Olympic committee chief executive Tubby "Tele" Reddy admitted that the carbon fiber footed Pistorious is being permitted to run even though he hadn't met established qualifying criteria.  It wasn't exactly clear, at least to me, what that criteria is exactly, but suffice to say that a special case has been made for this five-ring circus performer.

Questions abound, like for example, is Oscar just a bit faster not being burdened with the added weight of his lower extremities? Do those high tech flippin' flipper-feet provide additional spring and bounce that mere muscle and tendon couldn't possibly supply?  How do other athletes, particularly those that he will be competing against feel about this?   I know this probably sounds a bit naive, or insensitive to others, but do these devices give Pistorious an unfair advantage?  What if otherwise healthy runners strapped on some similar carbon fiber contraptions?  In any event, I'll be tuning in to check out the five-ring circus this summer.

LEBRON JAMES AND HEAT WIN TITLE

Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh of the Miami Heat celebrate after winning Game 5 of the NBA championship against the Oklahoma City Thunder. 

James had 26 points, 11 rebounds and 13 assists, leading the Miami Heat in a 121-106 torching of the Oklahoma City Thunder last night to win the NBA Finals in five games.

Jack slapped and ridiculed for the way he announced he was leaving Cleveland and ”... taking his talents to South Beach”, it all appears to have been worth it.

“Best player in the game. Best team in the league. And now, NBA champion.” is what the Associated Press is saying this morning.  Guess there is no disputing this claim, even if the team and championship was a bit manufactured.

I'LL BET FRANK DEFORD WANTS ANOTHER HAIRSTYLE

I'll start by saying I was drinking and driving in this morning and heard the latest installment in a series of great commentaries from Frank Deford.   His latest offering, which I heard on National Public Radio (NPR), is included here in its entirety.   Later, after having put my coffee down and logged in to write this blog, what immediately eclipsed  Deford's great story Please Sir, I'd Rather Have Another was his horrific hair style-sideburn combination as evident in his media picture.   Not sure why I was struck by this Count Dracula look, but for me, it suck my interest in the Belmont dry, and had me pondering his bizarre look instead.  In any event, here is the article: 

To be perverse, I'd suggest that for the horse-racing industry, it'd be best that I'll Have Another does not — yes, does not — win the Triple Crown this Saturday.

Oh, certainly, absolutely every year you want a horse to win the first two races — the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness — so that suspense builds and a horse has a chance to win the Belmont and take the Triple Crown. But isn't it better to have the potential winner barely get beat so that the losing streak continues, building interest?

It's now been 34 years since we had a winner, and someday soon, someone will start to call it the curse of the Triple Crown. Terrific! Curses are even more attention-getting than streaks. I mean, suppose I'll Have Another wins Saturday. Next year, if another horse heads into the Belmont, going for the crown, everybody will just say ho-hum, they did that last year, what's the big deal?

OK, that's perversity. Now specificity.

I don't want I'll Have Another to win the Belmont. Oh, he's a terrific little horse, and his jockey, Mario Gutierrez, provides us with a wonderfully uplifting story. To horse and rider, I say: Good luck, Godspeed, and if you win every race but the Belmont, good for you.

But the people in charge of I'll Have Another don't deserve the honor. The trainer is Doug O'Neill, a charming enough character, but a drug cheat nonetheless. In fact, he must start a 45-day suspension on July 1 in California. Illinois has already suspended him. He's been fined nine times for horses testing over the regulatory threshold. Perhaps most grievous, horses he trains break down at twice the normal rate.

I'll Have Another's owner is J. Paul Reddam, who is invariably described as a former philosophy professor — as if he still strolls the hills and dales alone, contemplating his favorite philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein. More recently, though, Reddam is president of CashCall, which refinances dubious mortgages. Three states have challenged him over violations of consumer protection laws. In West Virginia he's charged with breaking usury laws, assessing annual interest as high as, yes, 99 percent.

All right, no official judgment has yet been rendered against Reddam, but when the ethical standards of both men are taken together, can't we simply say: After 34 years, shouldn't a Triple Crown champion possess a better human pedigree?

Wittgenstein opined once: "I sit astride life like a bad rider on a horse. I only owe it to the horse's good nature that I am not thrown off at this very moment." I'm sorry, but I hope both O'Neill and Reddam get bucked at the Belmont. There is so much drug abuse in the sport, so many shady shenanigans, that when it comes to that next horse who finally wins the Triple Crown, I'll take another.