Thursday, November 29, 2012

ATLANTA FALCONS ARMCHAIR QUARTERBACK GIFTS

The Atlanta Falcons continue to impress and just might win that precious first playoff game, especially if their fans can have an impact.  Wednesday night some of the Atlanta faithfu, no doubt led by an Atlanta Armchair Quarterback, launched a good natured attack against the Saints team bus by throwing eggs at it at the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta.  Tonight the team takes on the rival New Orleans Saints, armed with the knowledge that their fans are willing to take it to the next level.  

Only time will tell whether the "Eggmen", which are apparently Atlanta's answer to the "12th Man" will be a factor.  However, if you're an Atlanta Armchair Quarterback or have one on your Christmas list, you might want to check out these Atlanta Falcons inspired offerings.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

ANDY REID INSPIRED DARTBOARD

The Philadelphia Eagles upset the football Gods by their blasphemous statements about being a "Dream Team", about  being the NFL's next dynasty and a whole host of unholy indiscretions.   Karma is a bitch, and apparently coach Andy Reid is fast becoming the next victim.

 

Monday, November 26, 2012

SAN FRANCISCO 49'ERS INSPIRED CLOCK & STUFF

The Kaepernick led San Francisco 49'ers beat the New Orleans Saints 31-21 on the road.  Last week, #7 for the 49'ers shocked the legion of San Francisco Armchair Quarterbacks in a lopsided win over a very good Chicago Bears defense on "Monday Night Football". The second year QB was impressive again Sunday, even if the victory against the Saints was really made possible by two defensive touchdowns.  

It isn't clear when Alex Smith will be cleared to play, but with games against the St Louis Rams and Miami Dolphins, it is conceivable that Colin Kaepernick can get the "W" in those games too.  Yes sir, the Colin Kaepernick led San Francisco 49'ers...  Now that phrase doesn't exactly roll of the tongue the way a "The Joe Montana led..." or "The Steve Young led San Francisco 49'ers..." does.

In time, maybe it will.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

TERRIBLE TOWEL INSPIRED SHIRTS AND MORE

The Terrible Towel has claimed its latest victim; the Cleveland Browns marketing department.  According to an article on NFL.com, the Browns have killed a promotion to hand out white flags to fans before today's game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Cleveland Armchair Quarterbacks, as well as their more traditional fan base, complained that the white flags were symbolic of a surrender.  The team reconsidered, and in deference to the throng of Terrible Towel waving fans expected to be in attendance, scrapped the idea.  That at least is the official explanation.  The truth is the Browns were simply acting out of fear of evoking any mystical, mythical, Ghost-of-Myron-Cope repercussions.  

Obviously this is something Ray Rice and the Baltimore Ravens ought to consider looking ahead into next week.

In any event, celebrate this latest testament to the power of the towel!  There are a ton of items to choose from either at www.cafepress.com/fearthetowel or Zazzle.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

UNIQUE NEW YORK GIANTS INSPIRED SHIRTS

The New York football GIANTS are the defending World Champions, yet you really don't hear much talk about them this year.  There are a few explanations for this floating around the Professional Armchair Quarterback community.  The fact that they play in the pathetic NFC East where the only other team showing signs of life are the RG III led Washington Redskins, where an 8-8 record (or worse) could very well win the division, is probably a major factor.  The other explanation, and the one most widely accepted, is that Rex Ryan and the nightmare that is the New York JETS have been in the limelight ever since Eli Manning and the GIANTS turned the lights off on the last of their post-Super Bowl parties.  Make no mistake, as dysfunctional as it is, ringmaster Rex Ryan and his three ring circus has been the darlings of the New York media, not the GIANTS.

You can change that, one t-shirt at a time.  This holiday season, don't buy the same old official NFL merchandise.  Instead, be an original. Get one of these unique offerings.



Friday, November 23, 2012

NEW YORK JETS INSPIRED PILLOW AND MORE

Forget about Superstorm Sandy, the Jets were pummeled by the New England Patriots 49-19 in the Thanksgiving Day Debacle of 2012.  The highlight reel from this instant classic features a perfect storm of turnovers and busted plays, the climax being a sequence where the PATS score 21 points in a mere 60 seconds.  The Jets appeared to be powerless to stop Tom Brady and the onslaught.  Talk about devastation...

If you haven't already, you can stick a fork in 'em, at 4-7 they're done.  The picked over remains of your turkey are in the refrigerator, and much like the aspirations of the New York Jets; cold, dead and in the dark. 

The fans are naturally upset, and naturally many are (and have been) calling  for coach Rex Ryan's head.  This was evident on the broadcast last night by the "X-REX" signs in the stands.  The faithful followers of the New York Jets can take solace in this fundamental truth: Players and coaches come and go, but New York Armchair Quarterbacks remain. You can show your solidarity by purchasing a New York Armchair Quarterback product.  There are tons of items to choose from. 

Look, with Tim Tebow on the team there is hope   Hope for the JETS is as it was in the beginning (1960), is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen 

Thursday, November 22, 2012

A PILLOW IN CASE THE PATS SLEEP ON THE JETS

The Thanksgiving Day offerings are as follows:

Considering my feeding schedule today, this food frenzied glutton will most likely forego the early game in favor of stuffing my pie hole.  Rest assured, I'll either be on the couch or in the armchair for the RGIII vs Tony Romo show.  Later, in an act of devout appreciation to our creator, I'll take a knee with Tebow and Company (with apologies to Mark Sanchez) as they battle the Pats.  New York really has no chance in hell, but I'll be praying for a miraculous upset over the pompous T-Brady and cheatin' Belichick.  That would be wickedly entertaining. 

A word to the wise New England Armchair Quarterbacks, don't go to sleep on the J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS.  You'll regret it in the morning.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

PLAXICO BURRESS AND THE TABLE IS ALMOST SET

On Tuesday, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin announced the signing of WR Plaxico Burress and indicated that he will be suiting up against the Cleveland Browns Sunday.  He will also be wearing his old number 80, after practice squad TE Jamie McCoy agreed to give it up.  Publicly the move was made to offset the rash of injuries at the position, but there are some cynics out there that claim that it was done to placate Big Ben.  A little incentive (or concession to a set of preposterous conditions) for his speedy return.  Whatever the case, the addition of Plaxico will certainly help in the red zone.  

Make no mistake, all of Big Ben's dreams and wishes for a "tall wide receiver" have come true, but who will be tossing the $925,000 man those fades in the end zone?  It will initially be Charlie Batch for the first week, but then what?  Fear not.  Yesterday Tomlin also announced that Roethlisberger has been miraculously upgraded to "doubful" for Sunday.  Technically this means Big Ben has a 25% chance to play, and is quite the contrast from earlier projections that had him missing 6-8 weeks or more.  Another illustration that yes, there is a football God.

Time will tell how soon the obvious and seemingly insurmountable problems at the quarterback position will work themselves out, but safe to say that the table is set.

Thankful Pittsburgh Armchair Quarterbacks should start prepping for a playoff feast now, rather than later.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

PITTSBURGH STEELERS TO SIGN KAFKA OR HOVER

The Pittsburgh Steelers will be bringing in a host of free-agent quarterbacks for workouts, most notably Mike Kafka and Brian Hoyer.  Kafka played on the other side of the state for the Eagles.  He was a fourth-round pick by Philly in 2010.  Brian_Hoyer was signed by the New England Patriots as an undrafted free agent in 2009, and was released in August.

Question is, when Charlie Batch goes down due to injury, who is most likely to be slinging the ball out to (the soon to be acquired) Plaxico Burress?

Lots of questions at this critical juncture in the season.  


Monday, November 19, 2012

MIKE WALLACE THE DIFFERENCE IN LOSS TO RAVENS

The Pittsburgh Steelers lost to the Baltimore Ravens 13-10 on Sunday night.

Ordinarily this Pittsburgh Armchair Quarterback recognizes that football is a team game, and that a single play,  player, or bad officiating shouldn't be pointed out as the reason for a loss.  Still, I'm going to make an exception for the Pittsburgh Steelers' $10,000,000 million dollar receiver; Mike Wallace.  

For get about the special teams gaffe, blame can be squarely put on Wallace.  For the last several weeks (seemingly every week this year) he seems to drop at least one very catchable ball. Goes with the territory, I guess.  Last night in a critically important divisional game, his lackluster performance was evident again.  These misdeeds are overlooked by otherwise solid play, but last night the Steelers needed the oft cited 110% from every man, woman and child.  The men came to play.  Mike Wallace?  Not so much.

No, they didn't get that kind of effort out of number 17.

He carelessly fumbled a would be first down in Pittsburgh territory, ultimately giving the Ravens 3 points and killing what momentum the Steelers had going at that point.  (If the defense hadn't been playing lights out, this could and most likely would have easily resulted in a touchdown).

Later, in a game where field position was critical and scoring opportunities scarce, he didn't get his feet in bounds on what would have been a Steelers touchdown.  The Steelers settled for a field goal, leaving 4 points on the field.  Lazy Mike Wallace did it again.

The real shot to the balls was that this game should have been won by the Pittsburgh Steelers.  They know it, the Baltimore Ravens know it, and most importantly Mike Wallace...

...well, here's hoping he knows it too.

Sunday, November 18, 2012